Facebook Panthers Reach Level 4

Panthers XI has reached Level 4, miles ahead of other teams in its league. Experts say that the Panthers march was so rapid that the other teams couldn't even catch up with the dust trail left by the Panther Paws!

Panthers rapid ascent had already been highlighted by experts and competitors alike because of the well balanced team effort that was on display in all of their matches. The players backed each other up and the confidence that the each player got from his partner resulted in the all round stellar performances. On this momentous occassion, the board announced prizes for best performances. So lets go over to our Presenter 'Shakki Khan Shakki' who is going to present the awards.

SKS: Thank you, Dube Lal Naan-chunk-pandora-bhuttan for finally giving the mic to me, I thought you were going to take it home. Fans I am sure you want me to go right to the prizes as you are already yawning and looking repeatedly at the lunch table. There are 11 prizes to be given today, but I am going to speed things up, since I have an ample stock of eggs and rotten tomatoes at home. First of all I am going to call 'Samir Bhatti' on the stage.

FANS CLAPPING.

SKS: Samir Bhatti actually only gets one prize of the 11, for scoring the most runs in an innings. 225. The highest for Panthers XI. Samir how is it possible that you were able to score 225 runs in a 20 over match?

SB: Well I took my chances early on. The team was not so good so I told myself that I am going to bat the whole 20 overs, selfishly, and not going to let anyother batsman face these minnows. I backed myself, hit my shots and left everything else to God.

SKS: It was one amazing innings SB. So moving on to the next prize. I am going to call to the stage. Munir Faruqi. Oh WOW. With the applause I am hearing for him, it seems that you have woken up. It seems that the star of Panthers XI is Munir Faruqi and his performances show that as well. He is the highest run getter with 10,723 runs, he has the best average 57.04, best strike rate 197.55, most centuries 25 and most 50s 68. How do you feel Munir

MF: Well I had a scratchy start to this facebook Twenty20. But I knew that I will find my rhythym. My captain backed me up and spent time with me in the nets and concentrated on my fitness. And when I had doubt in my heart, my captain said don't worry, start taking English Classes, I know that you are going to succeed.

FANS GOING BONKERS....

SKS: Are you a bit sad that the only batting prize you didn't get was the highest score in an innings.

MF: Well I was at the other end when Samir Bhatti was involved in carnage at the other end. I was begging him to let me play a few balls but he flatly refused. I tried to get him run out a few times, but that didn't work out as well. Sucker played the whole 120 deliveries in the innings. I will get back to him. I have good relations with the captain, I know him personally, I will ask him to let me face the first delivery in all matches in Level 4.

FANS are trashing their seats. Calling for blood and immediate sacking of Samir Bhatti from the team. This is not a good sign for Panthers XI. But after all there are 11 Pakistanis playing in the team and its only a matter of time, when the team is going to self destruct.

SKS: Fans, fans lets move to the bowling awards. Please calm down. Now that you have thrown your seats at Samir Bhatti, please sit on the floors. Yes yes please. This what you deserve actually. So now I am going to call on to the stage, the charismatic Nisar Ahmed KHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN.
FANS are chhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrriiiiiinnnngggggggg. FANS actually do know who their real heroes are. Nisar is rocking on towards the stage, with cool goggles, which he might have borrowed from his son. He is a babe magnet and girls are cutting their veins just to get one look from him.

SKS: Don't worry guys for all of your fainted dates, we have called the ambulances. Those who have cut their veins, I am sorry, we have no hope for them, for we live in a country where blood sucking politicians have already sucked all the blood out of us, so we have none to replenish you with. Land mafia have already occupied all the plots in the city, so either you would have to bury them in another country or you can burn them. If you can get petrol that is.

SKS: Okay so Nisar, you have almost captured all the bowling awards, you get the award for most wickets in an innings 7 Wickets for 16 runs, best per wicket average of 16.73 runs per wicket, most 5+ wickets in an innings i.e. 4 times. How do you feel?

NAK: aray kya bolta ray. Humko nahee maloooom wicket shicket. Hum aata hay, bowl phaikta hay aur baytsmaaan ko ghooorta hay. Baytsmaaan khud heee bhaag jaata hay.

SKS: Fans, he is saying that its not his Mendis turn but rather his stare that gets him all the wickets. Amazing, Amazing. First time a bowler is saying this. How did your stare get so much power???

NAK: aray Naakoooo. Bachpan say pracstissshh kya hay hum. aray paympar say hum larkeee log ko ghooor raaha hay. Abheee ackshpert ho gaya hay.

SKS: Amazing Amazing. He is saying that he has spent years, infact since he was in his pampers, he is practicing this art, standing outside a girls college in heat, staring at them. Now he has become expert in dish, I mean this. So now we are going to call... Nakooo Bhai you can go on your seat.

NAK: Aray shit hay kidhar?

SKS: oh oh oh. Not Shit sir, seat seat. There are expensive persian carpets you can have a seat there. I will call on the next man on the stage. He is the captain, manager and owner of Panthers XI. He is Aaaaaaammmmmmmmaaaaaaaadddddddd UUUDDDDDDIIIIIINNNNNN. No Fans not yet, its not lunch time. Please stay in the hall. Those containers are empty. Yes yes, please come back, come back now. Please thank you. So Amad you have the higest number of wickets 212 and you have the best economy of 7.46 runs per over. You are also the captain and owner of the side, how do you feel.

AU: Well actually its amazing. Initially we didn't do so well, as we were playing individually and I told these guys that individual glory can only come after collective glory.

SKS: WOW amazing words. So after that they started pitching in.

AU: Well not really, actually I bribed each one of them. I fired all the extra players and told the main 11 that this is it. So the firing and bribing part was the key actually.

SKS: How do you feel about your bowling.

AU: It felt good to be amongst the wickets. Actually I would have a lot more wickets, hadn't been the sitters dropped by Nisar. yeah. Look he is still shaking his head and smiling. You won't be getting your paycheck sir. So keep on smiling. Yeah good. I would also like to ask all my team to come on the stage. Yes please, plese come on the stage. We will collectively bow out. Yeah come on come one. Thanks. Now I will ask Waqar Perwaize to lead them out quickly since there is no food in the containers and the fans might want to kill us for that. RUN RUN RUN!!!!!

SKS: Fans are chasing the team, and if they are alive, they would put up a better show on their way to reach Level 5. Stay tuned...